I made it before the big wave of games started! Thursday night and London games are to be expected. But anyways, here are the new rankings.
1. Cincinnati Bengals
You know everything everybody is saying about the Patriots? They should really be saying it about the Bengals. This is (by quite a bit) the best offense in the NFL. Defense, not so much. Which will make holding on to the top spot even harder.
2. Arizona Cardinals
Ok, a few weeks ago it wasn't close, but now it is. The Cardinals are within .00175 standard deviations of the Bengals. And this is in spite of their number-two-offense-in-the-league being nowhere near the Bengals'.
3. Green Bay Packers
They're consistently good, but they need it to stay here. The Packers aren't in the same class as the Bengals and Cardinals, they don't have that kind of wiggle room.
4. New York Jets
5. New England Patriots
The Jets ran the ball better and passed the ball better than the Patriots. But you know what the Patriots did better? Completely avoiding running the ball. As in they had 9 rushes all game. Four of which were by Brady. Darell "fuck-you-you-piece-of-shit-just-fucking-fire-this-dude-already" Bevell, maybe there's a lesson to be learned here.
6. Seattle Seahawks
Speaking of which, I wonder why the 6th best team in the NFL has such a poor record...
Ok, when your scoring margin is +26, a lot has to be attributed to luck, but as for the rest? Just look up.
7. Denver Broncos
The only reason my rankings don't say they have the worst offense in the league is that I'm still taking last season into account. Peyton is looking done-done-done-done-done and has been for a while. But then again, their all-time-great defense has somehow prevented them from losing a single game.
8. Pittsburgh Steelers
As much as I hate to admit it, Ben Fuckfuckfuckfuck might actually be somewhat important. Nowhere near Romo level though, it's pretty telling when you're winning 100% with and 0% without.
9. St. Louis Rams
They got a good defense. Gurley looks good. It's hard to improve your ranking playing the Browns. You're expected to dominate like they did.
10. Carolina Panthers
11. Buffalo Bills
12. Philadelphia Eagles
13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Wait what? The Bucs? Here? I guess my algorithm was a big fan of that loss to the Redskins. Which to be fair it should be, but it seems like it was a really big fan. As we'll see by Washington's ranking. But to be fair, a lot of this big movement in the rankings is just the teams around here all being clumped close together.
14. Miami Dolphins
My algorithm is a big fan of all-time-great offensive games.
15. Dallas Cowboys
We've talked about them already. But maybe Dez will help a little bit.
16. Oakland Raiders
17. Kansas City Chiefs
18. Atlanta Falcons
19. Baltimore Ravens
20. New York Giants
21. Jacksonville Jaguars
Widening the gap between them and the rest of the teams in their division...
22. San Diego Chargers
You can't let the Raiders do that to you, man.
23. Minnesota Vikings
24. Chicago Bears
25. San Francisco 49ers
26. New Orleans Saints
27. Indianapolis Colts
28. Tennessee Titans
29. Detroit Lions
30. Houston Texans
31. Cleveland Browns
32. Washington Redskins
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