1. Denver Broncos
Surprise number 1. But they just won by 21 against the previously perfect Cardinals, so it's very deserved.
2. Seattle Seahawks
They're really good. This has been true for a lot of weeks. And will be true for at least that many more years. Terrible luck with penalties against Washington kept them out of first since my algorithm doesn't count plays that don't officially happen (like Percy Harvin's 3 TDs).
3. Cincinnati Bengals
The lopsided score was due to luck: the Patriots recovering all 4 fumbles in the game 3 of which were by the Bengals, 0/7 on 3rd down and 0/1 on 4th, etc. But the Bengals didn't outplay the Pats apart from the lucky parts. This is the Pats. If you're an elite team, you should dominate them.
4. San Diego Chargers
They look REALLY good. REALLY REALLY good. Rivers looks like an MVP.
5. Detroit Lions
Still top 5. But they seem to need Calvin Johnson healthy. What a surprise, a 6'5'' receiver with 4.35 speed and a 43" vertical (who is also just really good) is an important component of the Lions' success.
6. San Francisco 49ers
They're good. Fine. They just don't look it. But they belong here.
7. Green Bay Packers
They pooped on the Vikings.
8. Washington Redskins
Probably helped a bit in the rankings by the Percy Harvin TDs getting called back. Also by Desean Jackson being really fast.
9. Buffalo Bills
Great win.
10. Arizona Cardinals
Shitty loss. But it's Denver, they're good, and the Cards stayed in it for a while.
11. Tennessee Titans
Are you from Tennessee? Because HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ELEVENTH?
12. Miami Dolphins
Hm.
13. Baltimore Ravens
14. Indianapolis Colts
Both teams played a lot of bad offense. The Colts just played a little more good offense.
15. Houston Texans
WATT
16. Pittsburgh Steelers
No.
17. Atlanta Falcons
It really wasn't that bad.
18. New York Jets
It was that bad. But the Chargers have been doing this to everyone. Basically. The defense is good, it's just that Rivers can beat good defenses.
19. New Orleans Saints
It might be that bad.
20. Philadelphia Eagles
For a team that was ranked 2nd last year and is 4-1 this year, they're ranked really low by an algorithm that incorporates last season. They need Evan Mathis healthy. Badly. Like the Lions need CJ.
21. Kansas City Chiefs
Why?
22. New England Patriots
I don't know about you, but I'm still not sold. More than a week ago, but that's not saying much.
23. Dallas Cowboys
They might be winning, and dominating on offense while doing so, but the other side of the ball isn't going to keep keeping up.
24. Cleveland Browns
Good thing Homeless Guy didn't ask for Johnny to start.
25. New York Giants
They got lucky. Next.
26. Minnesota Vikings
They need Teddy like the Lions need CJ and the Eagles need Mathis.
27. Chicago Bears
28. Carolina Panthers
Close game between two teams that are both a lot worse than people think they are.
29. St. Louis Rams
I BELIEVE IN AUSTIN DAVIS. EVEN MORE THAN BEFORE (but still slightly less than Teddy).
30. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Ok, I'm done.
31. Oakland Raiders
32. Jacksonville Jaguars
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