Wednesday, October 8, 2014

2014 NFL Power Rankings Week 5

1. Denver Broncos

Surprise number 1. But they just won by 21 against the previously perfect Cardinals, so it's very deserved.

2. Seattle Seahawks

They're really good. This has been true for a lot of weeks. And will be true for at least that many more years. Terrible luck with penalties against Washington kept them out of first since my algorithm doesn't count plays that don't officially happen (like Percy Harvin's 3 TDs).

3. Cincinnati Bengals

The lopsided score was due to luck: the Patriots recovering all 4 fumbles in the game 3 of which were by the Bengals, 0/7 on 3rd down and 0/1 on 4th, etc. But the Bengals didn't outplay the Pats apart from the lucky parts. This is the Pats. If you're an elite team, you should dominate them.

4. San Diego Chargers

They look REALLY good. REALLY REALLY good. Rivers looks like an MVP.

5. Detroit Lions

Still top 5. But they seem to need Calvin Johnson healthy. What a surprise, a 6'5'' receiver with 4.35 speed and a 43" vertical (who is also just really good) is an important component of the Lions' success.

6. San Francisco 49ers

They're good. Fine. They just don't look it. But they belong here.

7. Green Bay Packers

They pooped on the Vikings.

8. Washington Redskins

Probably helped a bit in the rankings by the Percy Harvin TDs getting called back. Also by Desean Jackson being really fast.

9. Buffalo Bills

Great win.

10. Arizona Cardinals

Shitty loss. But it's Denver, they're good, and the Cards stayed in it for a while.

11. Tennessee Titans

Are you from Tennessee? Because HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ELEVENTH?

12. Miami Dolphins

Hm.

13. Baltimore Ravens
14. Indianapolis Colts

Both teams played a lot of bad offense. The Colts just played a little more good offense.

15. Houston Texans

WATT

16. Pittsburgh Steelers

No.

17. Atlanta Falcons

It really wasn't that bad.

18. New York Jets

It was that bad. But the Chargers have been doing this to everyone. Basically. The defense is good, it's just that Rivers can beat good defenses.

19. New Orleans Saints

It might be that bad.

20. Philadelphia Eagles

For a team that was ranked 2nd last year and is 4-1 this year, they're ranked really low by an algorithm that incorporates last season. They need Evan Mathis healthy. Badly. Like the Lions need CJ.

21. Kansas City Chiefs

Why?

22. New England Patriots

I don't know about you, but I'm still not sold. More than a week ago, but that's not saying much.

23. Dallas Cowboys

They might be winning, and dominating on offense while doing so, but the other side of the ball isn't going to keep keeping up.

24. Cleveland Browns

Good thing Homeless Guy didn't ask for Johnny to start.

25. New York Giants

They got lucky. Next.

26. Minnesota Vikings

They need Teddy like the Lions need CJ and the Eagles need Mathis.

27. Chicago Bears
28. Carolina Panthers

Close game between two teams that are both a lot worse than people think they are.

29. St. Louis Rams

I BELIEVE IN AUSTIN DAVIS. EVEN MORE THAN BEFORE (but still slightly less than Teddy).

30. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Ok, I'm done.

31. Oakland Raiders

32. Jacksonville Jaguars

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