1. Seattle Seahawks
At this point, it's not close. The Seahawks are first by a bigger margin than anybody this season other than the Broncos at the very beginning. But here, we've seen 11 games. There's a lot less variance. This is the best team in football.
2. Philadelphia Eagles
That offense with Nick Foles at the helm is unstoppable. And speaking of not getting stops, the Eagles' defense, but this team feels like the Redskins last year. They're just going to keep winning. Until they play the Seahawks in the playoffs.
3. Denver Broncos
That was Peyton's worst game in years. I don't care about the comeback, that was just a matter of when each team had bad enough luck to cough up the ball repeatedly. But Manning wasn't hitting anyone. It was ugly. For a quarterback who didn't have less than 7 yards per attempt in any game all season (for reference, Tom Brady and Andrew Luck are averaging 6.7 on the year (ok, those guys are 27th and 28th in the league, respectively, but still)), throwing for 4.2 ypa is atrocious. One-Ring-Peyton has never done that bad. I don't know if it was a product of the cold, or if it was just a fluke of all his bad throws happening in the same game, but this broncos offense looks a lot more mortal than it used to. Despite their running game dominance. Now their defensive woes are relevant again.
4. New Orleans Saints
Their defense has been playing a lot better recently, and while they're still worse than average, they can stop some people. And that's all they need with Drew Brees throwing the ball. I mean, not on Monday, they'll probably get blown out (possibly in the snow), but against any team that's not way better than everybody else in the league, I like their chances.
5. Green Bay Packers
Their defense sucks, but they might not lose once Aaron Rodgers comes back. I still think they'll make the playoffs, and nobody's going to want to play them. Except the Seahawks, but as I mentioned for the Saints, they don't count. On the other hand, they made BY FAR THE WORST 4TH DOWN DECISION I'VE EVER SEEN to completely blow their game against Minnesota. They had 4th and goal from the 2, on the first drive in OT, and they kicked a field goal. Let's look at that. First, consider how bad kicking is in general on that first OT drive with the new rule in place. It's so bad, in fact, that it's been shown to be better to punt from your opponent's 30 on 4th and 20 than to kick (or go for it, because, you know, 4th and 20). It's also so bad to kick from the 2 even not in overtime, the idea behind that being the amazing field position you get even if you don't convert. In the Packers' case, they combined both awful mistakes. It was actually about as good for them to FAIL TO CONVERT ON 4TH than to kick the field goal. I hope that decision costs them a playoff spot.
6. Cincinnati Bengals
After that rant, we can take a more chill team. They're pretty good, not spectacular, and while the injury hurts, it seems like they can hold it together without Geno Atkins. But they don't threaten anyone the way the top 5 do. Or even maybe the next couple teams. It's NFC west time.
7. San Francisco 49ers
They've been on this on-the-verge level all year. They aren't the team they were last year, but they have a pretty good offense and defense, just like the Bengals, and they can do some of the spectacular things the Bengals can't. Then again, they also have the potential to poop the bed more than the Bengals do. Sometimes they can't pass. Like, at all. Like, worse than Peyton's game on Sunday. And multiple times, too.
8. Arizona Cardinals
What can I say, they're good! That is a top 3 defense in the league, maybe top 1. And they just put up a fortyburger on the Colts. Too bad they play in the wrong division.
9. Detroit Lions
There's way too much unpredictability with this team. They're based on just throwing to a wide receiver who is WAY better than anyone else he goes up against. Sometimes, that leads to amazing things. Other times, Stafford just throws 4 picks. Their defense doesn't help things.
10. New York Giants
Remember when they couldn't run the ball at all? They just ran all over the Cowboys. But it still wasn't enough. Kinda like the Broncos' game. That D is still really good though, unlike the Broncos. But, you know, wrong Manning.
11. Carolina Panthers
They've been here for a while now. They looked bad against the Dolphins, which they haven't done for a while now. But they've been an above-average-but-not-great team for a while now. Including last year.
12. Cleveland Browns
Still love their defense! Their offense, on the other hand, has been giving up almost as many points recently.
13. New York Jets
Kinda like the Browns. They do some awful things on O.
14. San Diego Chargers
The opposite. They just gave up almost 40 to a bottom-five offense in the league. Luckily, they can throw. Really well.
15. New England Patriots
I'd say good win, but it wasn't. But good job stopping Peyton. Not so good against the run though. Or running (without fumbling). The passing game is doing a lot better with Gronk and Amendola back.
16. Houston Texans
Just like the Broncos, they had a flukey bad game passing. This team has been unlucky all season (since the first couple games). If this team played the Jags 10 more times, they'd probably win 8 of them. If you just look at wins, of course you won't see a difference between the Jags and Texans. But they're a lot more that happens in football that can demonstrate the difference between a bad loser, like the Jags, and an unlucky loser, like the Texans.
17. Tennessee Titans
Good for you, you beat the Raiders. But it took a +2 turnover differential and a last minute touchdown. Face it, you were the worse team on Sunday. The better team this season, but worse on Sunday. But you won, and I'm glad the better team won.
18. Pittsburgh Steelers
This time it took a +4 turnover margin. Count yourselves lucky. Because you sure as hell aren't good.
19. Minnesota Vikings
Great game on the ground on O. On D, not so much. But they were saved by the horrendous 4th down decision, so they could escape with a tie. Ponder has actually been playing reasonably well recently.
20. Oakland Raiders
I don't have anything to say about you. You lost to a team that lost to the fucking Jags. (Just like the Seahawks lost to a team (Colts) that lost to a team (Rams) that lost to a team (Titans) that lost to the Jags. Or lost to a team (Colts) that lost to a team (Chargers) that lost to a team (Texans) that lost to the Jags. It's fun to do that. It's fun watching other people non-jokingly use individual games to argue that one team is better than another. That logic ends up working really well.). Ok, they're not actually that bad. They should have even won that last game. They're just not good either.
21. Baltimore Ravens
Solid win. They have a pretty good D. If they do what they did last year, turing the number 15 offense into the number 1 playoff offense, then this year, they'll be turning the number 29 offense into the number 15 (?) playoff offense... I think it's better to assume they just won't make the playoffs. Maybe a team that can actually score will make the playoffs. Like the Chargers. Because unfortunately, it doesn't look like the 3rd best AFC team will (the Browns, at 12th in the league).
22. Washington Redskins
They did a surprisingly good job against the league's #6 (in yards) running game. That's about all I can say that's good about this team.
23. Buffalo Bills
I couldn't tell the difference between their bye and their actual games.
24. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Their offense has gotten substantially better recently (since Glennon took over). It's not the Broncos', or even the Titans' at this point, but it's better. And with that defense, especially LD (see, because it sounds like LT... Get it?), that's good enough to win some football games.
25. Chicago Bears
The run defense. Other than that, they're actually a pretty good team. Now you see how bad the run D is.
26. Miami Dolphins
Way to almost beat the Panthers. Eerily similar to their score last week. In fact, starting in week 5, the winner of Dolphins games hasn't scored over 27, and the loser hasn't scored under 16. And only one of the margins has been over 4 points. The Dolphins basically just play the same game every week.
27. Indianapolis Colts
Ick. You're supposed to keep it under cover how bad you are. That's the second awful blowout you've had. As I've said before, good teams lose games, that's just a function of the variance in football. But the BAD losses? That means something. That something being that your team is not good.
28. Kansas City Chiefs
Now that they've lost, will they win again? But actually. They were near the cellar of the league before the best part of the team got injured.
29. St. Louis Rams
They're out of the 31 spot! They've done well recently to get some huge wins. And they're really just as low as they are because of the two awful losses they suffered in weeks 3 and 4. Discounting those, they're 13th. Now, a lot of teams would make a big jump if you ignored their two worst games, but not close to this big. There's just been a lot more variance in how well this team has played than there has been for anyone else.
30. Atlanta Falcons
Yeah, they're bad.
31. Dallas Cowboys
I'm surprised they're this low, but they've been gashed pretty much all season. And their offense has too many bad stretches to keep up over the long haul. They're not going to keep this run going for long.
32. Jacksonville Jaguars
Still the Jags. Still the worst.
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