Saturday, December 19, 2015

2015 NFL Power Rankings Week 14

Well, at least I got the rankings in before Sunday

1. Arizona Cardinals

As usual, but it's getting closer and closer.

2. Seattle Seahawks

3. Cincinnati Bengals

4. Pittsburgh Steelers

5. Denver Broncos

6. Carolina Panthers

7. Kansas City Chiefs

They're in the same division as a top 10 offense. They played that top 10 offense twice. They allowed exactly 3 points each time. They may have started out 1-5 (!), but it's been over two months (!!) since they've lost a game.

8. New England Patriots

9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

10. New York Jets

11. Buffalo Bills

12. Oakland Raiders

13. St. Louis Rams

As of this point in the list, only 5 divisions are represented.

14. Green Bay Packers

15. Chicago Bears

Wouldn't it be amazing if they passed Green Bay? Yes. Because fuck the Packers.

16. Baltimore Ravens

17. Houston Texans

18. Minnesota Vikings

19. Detroit Lions

We just had two non-NFC-north teams in the last 6 spots.

20. Dallas Cowboys

21. Jacksonville Jaguars

22. Philadelphia Eagles

23. Atlanta Falcons

24. Miami Dolphins

25. New York Giants

26. Washington Redskins

We just had three non-NFC-east teams in the last 7 spots.

27. Tennessee Titans

28. San Diego Chargers

29. San Francisco 49ers

30. Cleveland Browns

31. Indianapolis Colts

32. New Orleans Saints

With the number 6 offense in the entire NFL.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

2015 NFL Power Rankings Week 13

I feel pretty good about last week's rankings, the top 5 teams won by a combined 164-26. I'd say that's a pretty solid margin.

1. Arizona Cardinals

2. Seattle Seahawks

Biggest jump of anyone. Cut the gap in half again despite how well the Cardinals did. This is probably the best team in the NFL now. Again.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers

4. Cincinnati Bengals

Yes, they lost a spot despite winning 37-3.

5. Denver Broncos

6. New England Patriots

lol

7. Carolina Panthers

Just itching to give up that 7th spot.

8. Kansas City Chiefs

9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

10. New York Jets

11. Green Bay Packers

12. Oakland Raiders

13. Buffalo Bills

14. St. Louis Rams

15. Chicago Bears

Yes, in the top 15, we have the Chiefs, Bucs, Jets, Raiders, Bills, Rams, and Bears. So basically over half of the bottom-10 crowd in recent years.

16. Baltimore Ravens

17. Detroit Lions

18. Atlanta Falcons

19. Houston Texans

20. Dallas Cowboys

21. Minnesota Vikings

22. Philadelphia Eagles

23. Jacksonville Jaguars

24. Miami Dolphins

25. Tennessee Titans

26. San Francisco 49ers

27. San Diego Chargers

28. Washington Redskins

29. New York Giants

30. Indianapolis Colts

31. New Orleans Saints

Yes, this is the team that almost knocked off the undefeated Panthers.

32. Cleveland Browns

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

2015 NFL Power Rankings Week 12

On time as FUCK.

1. Arizona Cardinals

Everybody has bad games. But this one cost AZ half their lead over Seattle.

2. Seattle Seahawks

NFC West 2, everybody else 0.

3. Cincinnati Bengals

That dominant performance against the Rams has them solidly positioned to be the 2nd-seed and the 1st-most-skilliest team in the AFC.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers

How are all the best teams in the same divisions???

5. Denver Broncos

6. New England Patriots

Well, there goes one of them.

7. Carolina Panthers

The average ranking of their remaining (regular season) opponents is 21st. That's like, really high for an average.

8. Kansas City Chiefs

Closing the gap. It wouldn't be that unreasonable to see the Panthers go 16-0 as the 8th best team in the NFL.

9. Tampa Bay Buccanneers

Somehow my algorithm knows not to penalize teams for being unable to stop the unstoppable. AKA Matthew Hasselbeck.

10. New York Jets

Another really good looking win.

11. Oakland Raiders

Well they're more just a beneficiary of the Rams and Packers falling apart.

12. St. Louis Rams

13. Green Bay Packers

14. Baltimore Ravens

15. Buffalo Bills

16. Chicago Bears

They've done an incredible job to pull themselves out of the depths of the NFL basement.

17. Atlanta Falcons

We're nearing the end.

18. Minnesota Vikings

19. Houston Texans

I just can't think of watt could possibly keep this team from being the worst in the league. But somehow they're shutting down great offenses.

20. Detroit Lions

Don't get too proud of yourselves.

21. Jacksonville Jaguars

22. Dallas Cowboys

Remember when I made fun of the AFC South? Well I just want to point out that this week, the Cowboys are the first NFC East team you're seeing. God damn some divisions suck.

23. Philadelphia Eagles

24. Tennessee Titans

25. Miami Dolphins

26. San Francisco 49ers

27. Washington Redskins

28. San Diego Chargers

29. Indianapolis Colts

30. New York Giants

31. New Orleans Saints

32. Cleveland Browns