1. Dallas Cowboys
They've been the best. Period. The gap is getting wider. Number two offense in the league, and the D isn't a shitshow. But they'd have been 7th last year. SEVENTH. There just aren't elite teams this year.
2. New England Patriots
Another solid team that's done well in a league with too much parity.
3. Pittsburgh Steelers
How the fuck did the Steelers make it up here? Oh right, nobody else is good.
4. Atlanta Falcons
Matt Ryan for MVP. Hands the fuck down.
5. Seattle Seahawks
Here's a team that's having an everything-falling-apart season, and they're still top 10 in offense and defense with a decent chance to win it all.
6. Arizona Cardinals
Everything has already fallen apart for the Cards. Just out of bad luck, this team is still loaded. Yet another factor in the league's condensing.
7. Kansas City Chiefs
This team looks good. And they really are solid. But good? Like last year good? Ehhh.
8. Washington Redskins
These guys have taken a step forward and low key have one of the best offenses in the league. Better than the Patriots' and Saints'.
9. Carolina Panthers
Huge step backwards, but they haven't been that bad. More just regression to the mean and a little bad luck.
10. New York Giants
Kinda like the Skins. Low key amazing defense.
11. Denver Broncos
Better defense (the only one). But yeah, of course, it's the fucking Broncos. They were bottom 5 in offense last year too. That's the difference between being an average best-in-the-league unit and being an all-time-great one.
12. Cincinnati Bengals
Mediocre.
13. Green Bay Packers
See Bengals, Cincinnati.
14. Buffalo Bills
See Packers, Green Bay.
15. New Orleans Saints
Kinda like the anti-Broncos. Both in the offense/defense split and in the all-time to all-NFL defensive transition from last year to this one that brings the overall team from the extremes to around league average.
16. Baltimore Ravens
A worse version of the Broncos.
17. Minnesota Vikings
A worse version of the Ravens.
18. Tennessee Titans
Hey, they're better than last year.
19. San Diego Chargers
Lol they lost to the Browns. But also, see Titans, Tennessee.
20. Chicago Bears
See Bills, Buffalo.
21. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
See Bears, Chicago.
22. Miami Dolphins
Ok I'm done. All these teams are the fucking same.
23. Oakland Raiders
24. Houston Texans
Except the Texans, they've managed to improve on defense without the greatest player of all time.
25. Philadelphia Eagles
DVOA likes these guys. Like top 5. Weird. It's all special teams. But actually.
26. New York Jets
27. Jacksonville Jaguars
28. Detroit Lions
29. Indianapolis Colts
30. Los Angeles Rams
31. San Francisco 49ers
32. Cleveland Browns
